[recycled sixtie]

My mil died of cancer aged 80 about ten years ago. That left my fil and after he stopped driving shortly after my mil passed away he had no way to get his groceries.
We had him assessed and he needed more care. After 2 more moves he is now in an old folks home with nurses and nurses aides in attendance. Very little talk was needed as I felt that he had to be told what to do. He was next to useless after his wife passed away. If you think that I don't have a lot of sympathy for him you are right. He has caused more trouble in his life for others around him.

It is indeed hard to change peoples' behavior and I believe some people are great until they pass on and others are a pita.

Dueller you are right to have that kind of conversation with your parents. Some people can handle living in their home until they die - they pay for lawn to be cut, snow shovelling and feed themselves. Others are not capable. We start off being a child and end up being a child. And in the latter situation sometimes you have to make decisions for them for your own survival. In the meantime my fil needs another blood transfusion at age 97 due to low iron/anemia. Somebody has to sit with him all day. If I was in that situation I would skip it - it would be an easy way to die. But we have to respect his decision....
Thanks for listening to me.