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The main problem is that you're too honest.
People see that it's been sitting since 2007, and they don't know you so they think "if all it needs is a water pump and a battery, then why has it been sitting for 5 years?" and naturally they don't inquire further.
If you want marital happiness in your lifetime, the solution is to get the car running so you can say it's a driver, or knock $500 off the price.
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