[theFONZ]

I met this cute local(ish) girl named Megan while I was in EOD school at Eglin AFB (Ft. Walton/Destin), FL. I asked her if she wanted to have dinner and she seemed pretty hesitant, but told me to call her on her next day off in a couple days and she might do something. Well, due to the "cold shoulder" I thought she gave me, I just ended up partying like it was any other weekend and never called. I saw her a couple days later and she asked why I never called, and she was bored, bla bla bla. Well she told me she had Thursday off, which was great for me because I had absolutely no money in the bank (I had fun during EOD school) and I thought that was payday. Well as I was leaving, I realized May has 31 days, uh oh, Friday is payday.

Well Thursday came and luckily I had a gift certificate my mom gave me to some seafood joint in Destin, and I had $20 cash my roommate owed me, that was it for the entire night (I never used checks then, so I couldn't even float one). I'll slip the GC past when she's not looking and I've still got $20 for the movies or whatever.

Strike one- As I pulled into her driveway, my 911 died, blocking it from everyone else. I quickly realized the problem as I fiddled with the distributor, but I flooded it trying to start it again, and now I needed to let it sit for a few minutes. I pushed it out of the drive so other tenants could get in and out and walked to the door. Awesome, she was ready, and watched and laughed at me out her window. At least it started fine now, and she hesitantly got into it, wondering what the hell was she getting into. The Porsche mystique wore off quick when I had no A/C, smelled like fuel, rough suspension, windows down, and loud exhaust. That doesn't go well in Florida with a girl trying to look her best for a date.

Strike two- As we talked, I was asking her about restaurants, and got the impression indirectly she did not like the one I had a gift certificate for. Well crap. We ended up at another (more expensive of course) one, and finally I caught a break. Luckily she only wanted a salad, and didn't want a refreshing beverage (I think I said something about not liking to drink on a first date or some BS, so she didn't order one either). I got a burger and water or something cheap and the total ended up being $16 or so. How's that for a date!

Strike three- Because I had $0 left, I suggested we take a nice sunset stroll down the beach. Next door to the restaurant, there was a public beach park. We parked there (the 911 was running fine still, thank god), and walked down the beach for a bit. After the sun went down we walked back to the parking lot, which was strangely empty due to the park closing after dark. That wouldn't have been a big deal, but they had a locked gate. We had to walk down the road to a hotel so I could find a phonebook to call the Sheriff's Dept. to let us out. Understandably, we weren't on the priority list so it took an hour or so for them to show up.

I'm out- Took her home, got out walked her to the door as I still had hopes, and guess what she said... Bye. Damn, she was pretty hot too. And nice too boot. Oh well. I was only out $20.



That was eight years ago and my worst date ever is also my wife Megan's worst date. And I'm out waaaay more than $20, but it's been well worth it.