Quote:
Originally Posted by Crowbob
Usually, the law requires the presiding judge take into consideration the wishes of the minor child. However, whether the child is mature enough to influence any decision about these matters is a decision also left to the judge.
Either way, a protracted and contentious custody fight will cause serious and long-term damage to the children involved especially if the warring parties disparage each other in the child's presence. In addition, it is nearly impossible to hide the animosity. The best thing is to carry yourself in such a manner as to instill respect for yourself, the mother, the child and the law. Ultimately, the truth will out but also the child will carry with him invisible scars that never heal. If you can consistently demonstrate, by example, the ability to salvage a successful life from this enormous challenge, so to, hopefully, will your son. It is the best you can do for him and for yourself.
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Mike:
I am very sorry your are going thru a divorce: having gone thru that myself, I wouldn't wish that on anyone. The fact that you have been going thru this for a long time just adds to the stress. I can't speak for Canadian law, but in IL, USA the court heavily favors the mother regardless of her transgressions or mental well being. I considered sole custody but was advised against it. The best situation I got was joint custody. Unless wavied, child support is a mathematical calculation. I got divorced in 2010, my son at the time was 16. He lives with me today.
An open forum like this is the last place I would personally air any comment about a divorce situation.
Good luck!