Hello Roy:
First and foremost, "Welcome to Pelican" you will find a lot of good people here.
Secondly, don't forget to post a picture of your car so folks here know how nice it looks and it seems to be a rule.
Now as far as your problems with starting your car, are you doing this with the hood open? The reason I ask is, there is a switch on the fire wall, driver's side (left-side) here in the U.S. cars, so if you have RHD it may be different. That switch controls the alarm and if the hood is open, then the switch is activated making the alarm circuit active and essentially not allowing the current to flow to the starter. Of course, it will also make a deafening sound since the alarm horns are blasting. Hopefully, this is not the case.
As far as a "fuse" is concerned, there is a fuse associated with the DME relay via DME terminal 87b...this goes through fuse number 34 which runs the fuel pump. So check to see if that fuse is okay. This fuse, number 34 however, does not effect the starter, but the alarm circuit does.
It could be that the DME relay got fired when you crossed the wires trying to do the "by-pass" procedure. This is a common error especially since your alarm module did not have the same numbers as you mentioned; and also since you said the three-wire jumper worked and started the car. I really hope that the ECU/DME "brain" did not get fired, because if it did somehow that would also not allow your car to start.
Good to always have a spare DME relay in the glove box.
Hope this helps you and good luck with the troubleshooting
.