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Originally Posted by fintstone
LOL...but that is the point. A guy does not have to be good looking to have women appreciate him...he just needs to not be horrible, be morbidly obese or have poor hygiene. Being well educated, travelled, nicely dressed, professionally accomplished, and empathetic really go a long way. Being able to cook a gourmet meal or wear a suit or tux comfortably/well and then be able to fix the car or install a new hot water heater...and to be gentle enough to make her feel special and at ease but tough enough that she would feel safe with you in the roughest situation.
Looking like Charlie Brown is good because one does not look so dangerous that their guard is up...but not unpleasant or disgusting. It allows one to work in stealth mode.
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You need to write a book. Amen, brother. But do you know how hard it is to find a guy like that? Even harder to find a guy that will stay like that after being with him for a long time? Granted, women don't exactly stay the way they are at the beginning of a relationship but the core of the person should stay the same. And Janet, I do think dating is hard but being married is hard. Being in a relationship is hard, period. And I think for women who are a little... Ahem... Outspoken and independent, it is even more difficult. Most men like their women pretty, quiet, and a good cook. There are men out there that don't, but they are harder to find.
Rick, I feel your pain to a certain extent. When I was going to college, I had a full ride for tuition but needed money to pay for books and rent, etc. when I went to apply for scholarships, I was excluded in the requirements in about 80% of them. Their definition of "minority" was everything EXCEPT Asian descent. So I might as well have been a white male. I had to concentrate on scholarships specifically for nursing students. I didn't meet the "requirements" of the other ones. My friend, who I loved dearly, but got pregnant in nursing school (at age 20 and single and lets just say didn't do as well in school) could apply and get several grants. I was like, what is wrong with this picture? I do well in school, don't get pregnant while single in school, and I can't find any money to help me out but she has her whole way paid for? Made me more determined but I guess life isn't fair.
Another story, we had awards at the time of graduation. There was no Asian or White award. But there was a Hispanic award. And guess what? There was only one Hispanic in our graduating class of 40. I know shocking, living in AZ but I guess she was the only one who could get in the college. Very hard to get in, competitive. Anyway, not the smartest gal, not even the nicest or most gracious nurse. But she got the award. Because she was the only one!
I must sound horrible. And to stay not too PARFy, I don't want to be picked for something BECAUSE of the color of my skin or background unless it directly relates to my ethnic background, like if I was going for Miss Asian American. I would never want it to come into play during selection of a job, award, whatever else. I argued this point in MBA school. We were discussing women in the fire dept. I said they should be held to the same standards as the men, because when there is a fire, I would want somebody who could save me whether they are white, female, purple, or scrawny. If they can pass all the tests then do it. Why should we lower standards just so women could get in the dept? That's stupid. I would never want to get a job or an award because they made a special case for me. I want to get it because I earned it.