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SWMBO
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Canberra, Australia
Posts: 3,662
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Quote:
Originally Posted by winders
Instead of:
"With over 20 years in business in western Oklahoma, and the most, and the largest digital sign installations in the area, we are your digital sign experts!"
Try this:
"We have over 20 years experience serving western Oklahoma. We have the most, and largest, digital sign installations in the area. We are your digital sign experts!"
The grammar and punctuation are better in the second paragraph and the message is clearer.
Scott
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Will have to think about this, I don't like either one.
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 1985 911 Carrera Cabriolet GPW - Marilyn
1972 911T GPW- Pusha (IT LIVES) 
1961 356B Heron Grey -Miss Daisy (currently in restoration) 
2000 HSV GPW (goes fast,everytime!)
2003 Indian - Spirit
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