I'd invite your neighbors over for tea and crumpets, engagage them in trivial conversation, then, on a prearranged signal between you and your wife/GF/significant other/hooker of the evening, deliver a steel tipped shoe, devastating kick to the gonads whilst the wife/etc. grabs the neighbor beyotch by the hair and swings her about until she cries, "AUNT!".
That is all that I can suggest at this time.
Good luck.
