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One thing that I think is relevant is that kids are a lot more aware of what is going on that most adults give them credit for. I bet your boy sees through the behavior of your soon-to-be ex (8.5 year divorce?!?). If he's old enough to have an iPhone and a dune buggy, he's old enough to see what's going on. Take the high road (when it applies to your interactions with him), but play hardball with the ex. Stand up for your rights to see him, etc. but don't use him as a pawn (like your insignificant other). That is what he's going to take away from all of this.
BTDT, BTW.
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Mike
1976 Euro 911
3.2 w/10.3 compression & SSIs
22/29 torsions, 22/22 adjustable sways, Carrera brakes
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