[Head416]

Kids become adults, and they see the truth of how their parents have conducted themselves throughout their lives. It sounds like your son may already know. In 4.5 years, you and your son can have whatever relationship you choose. It seems so far away, but you WILL get there. When he's a grown man, telling his life story, he'll say: "my dad did everything he could for me, and made sure I always knew how much he loved me."