[legion]

I didn't want to diminish Mike's very serious thread.

What are the worst/funniest ways you have or have thought about ending a relationship?

Sadly, the last time I actually ended a romantic relationship was close to 20 years ago in high school. I was a senior, dating a very attractive but indecisive blond. (She was a very intelligent girl, so calling her ditzy would be inappropriate.)

We reached a point where it was clear to both of us that the relationship was over. I kept trying to meet her to break up with her in person, and she kept avoiding it, knowing what was coming. I finally got a hold of her on the phone. The conversation went something like this:

Me: "I've been trying to meet up with you all week."

Her: "I know."

Me: "So you know why I'm calling you?"

Her: "Yes....and I think we've come to the same conclusion."

Me: "So.....do you want to go ahead and do it?"

Her: "No."

Me: "So you want me to do it?"

Her: "No."

Me: "So you don't want to break up?"

Her: "No."

Me: "You want to stay together then?"

Her: "No."

Me: "This one time, can you please make up your mind?"

Her: "No."

Me: "Fine. I'll do it. Melissa, it's over. I'm breaking up with you."

Kinda lame, I know.