[Hawkeye's-911T]

Give a man a fish and you'll feed him for a day. Give him religion and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish. ~ Timothy Jones
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America is the only country where a significant proportion of the population believes that professional wrestling is real, but the moon landing was faked. ~ David Letterman
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After the game, the King and the pawn go into the same box. ~ Italian proverb
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The only reason that they say, 'Women and children first' is to test the strength of the lifeboats. ~ Jean Kerr
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I've been married to a communist and a fascist, and neither would take out the garbage. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor
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You know you're a redneck if your home has wheels and your car doesn't. ~ Jeff Foxworthy
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. ~ Prince Philip
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Wood burns faster when you have to cut and chop it yourself. ~ Harrison Ford
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The best cure for sea sickness is to sit under a tree. ~ Spike Milligan (Comedian UK)
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Kill one man and you're a murderer, kill a million and you're aconqueror. ~ Jean Rostand.
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Having more money doesn't make you happier. I have 50 million dollars But I'm just as happy as when I had 48 million. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger.
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We are here on earth to do good unto others. What the others are here for, I have no idea. ~ W.H. Auden
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In hotel rooms I worry. I can't be the only guy who sits on the furniture naked. ~ Jonathan Katz
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If life were fair, Elvis would still be alive today and all the impersonators would be dead. ~ Johnny Carson
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I don't believe in astrology. I am a Sagittarius and we're very skeptical. ~ Arthur C. Clarke
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Hollywood must be the only place on earth where you can be fired by a man wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a baseball cap. ~ Steve Martin
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Home cooking. Where many a man thinks his wife is. ~ Jimmy Durante)
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As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind - every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. ~ John Glenn
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If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat? ~ Steven Wright
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America is so advanced that even the chairs are electric. ~ Doug Hamwell
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The first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone. ~ George Roberts
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If God had intended us to fly, he would have made it easier to get to the airport. ~ Jonathan Winters
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I have kleptomania, but when it gets bad, I take something for it. ~ Robert Benchley
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. (Anonymous).

Have a Happy Autumnal Equinox - September 22, 2013 at 4:44 P.M EDT

Cheers
JB