[Outback Porsche]

Morning Gents.




Got this in a email this morning. My inner nerd had a giggle.

Subject: C# New Statements

Conditional Statements
WHAT IF
Used in simulation languages. Branches before evaluating the test condition.

OR ELSE
Conditional threat as in: "Add these two numbers OR ELSE"

WHY NOT
Executes the code that follows in a devil-may-care fashion

WHO ELSE
Used for polling during I/O operations

ELSEWHERE
This is where your program really is when you think it's here

GOING GOING GONE
For writing unstructured programs. Takes a random branch to another part of your program.
Does the work of a hundred GOTOs

Case Statements
JUST IN CASE
For handling afterthoughts and fudge factors.
Allows you to multiply by zero to correct for accidently dividing by zero

BRIEF CASE
To encourage portable software

OPEN AND SHUT CASE
No proof of correctness is necessary with this one

IN ANY CASE
This one always works

HOPELESS CASE
This one never works

BASKET CASE
A really HOPELESS CASE

Loop Statements
DON'T DO WHILE NOT
The loop is not executed if the test condition is not false (or it's Friday afternoon)

DIDN'T DO
The loop executes once and hides all traces

WON'T DO
The program stops because it doesn't like the code inside the loop.
Execution can be resumed by typing "MAY I" at the command line

MIGHT DO
Depends on how the program is feeling.
Executed if the CPU is "up", not executed if the CPU is "down" or if its feelings have been hurt

DO UNTO OTHERS
Used to write the main loop for operating systems to antagonize all programs in a uniform manner

DO WAH
Used to write loops for computer generated music (e.g. Rag Timing)