[jyl]

Keep in mind that, all other things being equal (same caliber, basic design, etc), the larger, heavier, longer barreled pistol will have less recoil than the smaller, lighter, more compact pistol.

The "big" gun maybe looks more intimidating but it is actually the reverse.

So if you don't intend to wear it under clothing, I would favor a full size pistol rather than a compact.

The other thing is, your wife needs to have the hand strength to cycle the slide. I think most women do, but if she has trouble opening jars, etc, it might be an issue.