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...how many miles or years connecting rods ought to last?
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Probably the life of your car unless you run them with bad rod bearings. It's the bearings that are designed to wear not the rods.
Put it like this, If your con rods are bad/bent they will tell you by playing peek-a-boo out of the side of your block. The top rods bearings see little movement and wear compared to the bottom rod bearings, basically tops are only changed if you need to remove pistons for bore/ring work.