[onewhippedpuppy]

I think it's both, kids need to learn that there are consequences for their actions (both positive and negative), but you also have to help them get there. My oldest is only 9, so we're just starting into the "real school" phase of his education. He gets rewarded for A grades and punished for C and below. We are trying to make him responsible for his school work so we don't actively do as much as we used to, but try to push him in the right direction, help him study for tests, and keep him on top of what's due. I'm big on them being independent, and now is the time to fail and learn from it.