Unless you're watching a Jerry Springer show, (and even then......???) you just can't make up true-life stories that include:.
Family arguments about Space Aliens while female wearing Lingerie has intimate relations with herself using a Silver Plated Hand Gun in the toilet until the sheriffs show up to save the boyfriend..................
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this is work safe, though don't stare at her mug shot too long.......
Novelist's Ex In Bizarre Handgun Threat Arrest | The Smoking Gun