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Different strings can have different tensions, even if they are the same gauge. I play 40-100 on my 4-string fretted, and have played 40-95 as well. That can give some issues with intonation (easy to bend the string and play sharp). You could also try some flat wounds if the issue is she doesn't like the round wounds. Strings are a variable that is easy to change and not as expensive as a new bass. One other variable is nickel vs stainless. I vastly prefer nickel - easier on the fingers and a bit warmer tone all other things being equal.
Agree about the setup and it is easy to learn to do at home. In fact if you want I can Skype you through it.
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