[recycled sixtie]

I can somewhat relate to what you are going through. My mother passed away in 2012 age 94. Somebody said at her funeral that she had died ten years ago. She did have bouts of anger and some strange behavior in her last few years. She was so paranoid about somebody stealing her silver cutlery from her room in her group home. So before we went downtown I put it all in my backpack and I ended up walking around the city with her and carrying about what felt like 20 lbs of silverware!

Like yourself I did have a good relationship with my mother until she broke her hip and then she died a year later. Who knows what we will be like when we are that age assuming we reach the 90's?

My fil who is in a care home has just turned 98. He has been a good provider however my wife says that he attempted to sexually molest her and kill her when she was younger. His children are still afraid of him. He now needs help going to and from the bathroom. He still plays favorites and my wife and I are in the city most of the time. Her one brother my age has terminal cancer and the other two are between the US and here. I am the only male spouse that he has not taken a swing at! The fight is gone out of him now but he is still demanding. I really just want him to pass on so his children can have some peace.

Yep Flatbutt I am sorry to hear about your mother. It is painful to witness especially when you care for her so much. My thoughts are with you.
Guy