[MRM]

My take on it is that number two is likely to be the easier mentee over the long term. He's shy but warms up, which is a good sign, and he's a little older. I think this wins out over a talkative and outgoing 10 year old.

IEPs are not necessarily a big deal. If the kid seems fine to you, I don't think an IEP would matter to you unless you're going to be working on homework with him. His grades are better than mine were at that stage in my life.

I don't think you're going to be in over your head with number two. I'd take him out and try to introduce him to the larger world. You know what had the biggest impact on changing my life when I was that age? First, I visited my father's office. We lived on a farm well outside of town, so it was a real learning experience just to see a professional working environment and see my dad functioning in it. It made me think that I could do it too if someone I knew had figured out how to get there and survive.

Second, visits to the library. The architecture of libraries is so cool that it just makes you feel good about yourself wandering the stacks. And the mystery of what is in the books can't help but get your interest. If he needs work on communications skills, he does not read well. You would do well to find some books that would interest a boy that age and start reading them to him for a half hour or so when you meet each week. My father read to my bother and me well into high school. He enjoyed it too and it lead to a lifelong love of reading for me. If there is one skill that can compensate for the lack of others, it is reading. I am proof that good verbal skills can cover up a host of other deficits. If I ever lost a finger I couldn't count to ten. I strongly recommend action-adventure books like Where the Red Fern Grows, Old Yeller, and its sequel, Savage Sam. I'm sure no one has ever read out loud to him. Once he gets used to it he'll beg you to read more. Don't insist that he read to you or read on his own until he gets the urge on his own. It's like swimming, he'll jump in when he's ready.

And finally, going out to eat in sit down restaurants. That teaches you how to conduct yourself in a middle class manner and teaches you all the social skills you'll need in life. It's a great confidence builder, opens the world up, gives you something to aspire to when you grow up and pay the check yourself, and is a lot of fun.

With that exposure I gained aspirations to make something of myself and had the confidence that I could really do it. Once I formed the aspirations, I was able to do the rest myself. Now you've got me so excited now that I want to go mentor number 2!