[Sunroof]

You folks with young children let me pass on a lesson to you regarding bullying.

My son who turns 34 this May was the victim of bullying in high school many years ago. Our dog passed away and this young man kept saying things in class (before the teacher came in) about the dog among other nasty things toward my son. My son came home every day frustrated, angered and wanted nothing less then to hurt this kid. This contiunued for weeks and it turned out that they were both competing for a spot on the freshman soccer team. This other kid was probably prodded by his father to press.

I talked to my son every night for being a man for restraining himself, as violence is never the answer. But I also emphasized that he would be a bigger man to overcome it. In other words I was giving him parental approval to deck this kid. As my dad used to say, "your a man to walk away from a fight but your a bigger man to overcome it". And so that wisdom was passed on to the next generation.

He caught the kid after school waitng at the bus stop and found the courage to haul off and hit him in the face. He hit him so hard he fractured his orbital bone below the eye which required a few days in the hospital.

What transpired next was a visit from the police, a day in court, a civil law suit and absolute hell.

In juvenille court the Judge realized the bullying and harassment and was very disturbed with the behavior of the kid and layed into the parents for allowing the behavior toward my son. My son who openly apologized was given a verbal lashing for the violent behavior. My son received probation and learned that violence was not the answer. That was a valuable lesson going forward in his life.

The lessons here are simple: As much as we hate bullies and as much as we want to protect our children, in this day and age violence is never the answer. We are a very litigious society and I would bet any bully who gets his just deserts with a whollop to the body could turn it around as being the "victim" despite the provocation. The bully does have parents and you never know if these parents can truley be reached, i, e, will they take responsibilty for their childs actions or press charges if the kid who is bullied takes on a physical and hurtful response.

I am inclined to believe that the best course of action is a restraining order or pursuance of legal action against the parents.

In my youthful days hauling off and smashing that bully in the school yard was quite acceptable. Today, its another story and one that demands that parents of victims do not go off half cocked and ensure that the bully is beaten to a bloody pulp as much as we would love to see it.

I needed to pass on this experience to help hot heads stay cool.

I am a 66 year old father and grandfather and I hope this helps someone to make the right decision.

Bob