[MRM]

To really understand this issue, you have to turn the question around: How much richer would your relatives have to be than you before you felt comfortable taking money from them? The revulsion most of you feel at the thought of accepting money from a richer brother, cousin, etc., is exactly how most family members will feel if you start trying to dole out money to them. It just doesn't work that way.

My wife and I certainly aren't rich, but we come from very humble backgrounds, and just by being successful suburban professionals means we make several times my brothers and sisters make. My mother is widowed and retired and lives off of Social Security and what's left of the money my father left her. We're generous when we come into town - picking up checks, nice Christmas presents, things like that, but I don't think I could offend my family faster than if I started trying to give them money. If any of them ever really needed the money, I'd be happy to give them what they needed, but the idea of trying to give people money sounds much better than it works out in real life.