You're depressed. As mentioned before excise will help a great deal, also a pet helps out a lot. But it is not healthy keeping it in, you will destroy yourself for the inside out. You need to talk to someone; support group, shrink, friend.
My brother died my sr. Year of high school. It took years to get over it to where I can say what happened without the water works. I'm still here, so I can see you making it through it!
