[jyl]

This weekend, I have decided to sport a murse.

Why, oh why? Well, it is a bit warm in NYC, too warm for a jacket, and all the stuff I carry doesn't fit in skinny jeans. I mean, my thighs hardly fit in my jeans. But in truth, the stuff wouldn't fit in regular jeans. Wallet, phone, various medications (conjunctivitis and allergy), external battery for phone, water bottle, book to read when wife enters furniture store, etc. You'd need full on cargo utilities to carry it all, your pockets would clank like the Tin Man, and trotting for an elevator would get you a water bottle uppercut to the testicles.

So I have a murse. It is a olive drab canvas shoulder bag. This is one of the protective coloration strategies of the murse. Just as generations of little boys were permitted to play with GI Joe because he was an "action figure" with a rifle, this breed of murse is presented as a rugged accoutrement of war, something that might carry fragmentation grenades or belts of 7.62, instead of an iPhone, wallet, and antibiotic hand cream. I wonder if people are fooled? I certainly feel more action figured with my combat murse.

Anyway, I found out that I don't really know how to carry a murse. Here is one instance. We went to a restaurant. The chair had a rounded back, so I couldn't hang my murse there. I didn't want to put it at my feet, since its theft would leave me destitute, nameless and iPhone-less, doomed to a life on the streets. My wife offered to set it on her bench, next to her purse. I didn't want the two bags to be seen touching. So I ate dinner with my murse cradled on my lap, like a Pomeranian. This looked odd, maybe, but the murse felt good there. I may have petted it.

Was that wrong? Please share your tips for carrying a murse. I know the answers are here. Don't we say PPOT can answer any question? I look forward to your constructive replies!