[Rick V]

Evening Y'all,
Well we have a new guy at work in the shipping dept and we have named him H.L.S. which is short for hook, line and sinker. We are doing a test to determine just how deep the river of stupid actually is and thus far we have not hit the bottom. It started out harmlessly enough but has gotten way over the top. I will break down the things we have told him, that he believes into a list.
1. Muffler bearing. This is a small fan like unit in the muffler that starts to spin with the exiting exhaust and uses inertia and momentum to maintain a spin during idle to help the exiting exhaust gasses and promotes not only more power at an idle but increases mileage.
2. I installed a stutter valve in the Boxster. This is an electronically controlled mechanical valve that reduced engine compression in the event of a mechanical over-rev
3. My son has installed a hygroscopic regeneration pump on his over built Volvo. This device takes moisture out of the air and compresses it into a liquid to inject into the induction system for a cooler denser fuel charge.
4. Sidewinder bullets. I have a whole case of these and they are fun to shoot. They are essentially a wad cutter that is halved on the open end. Between the twist of the barrel and the oblong shape they fly in a corkscrew manner allowing them to be shot around trees and other objects.
5. Red hair reflects heat. Our parts manager died red streaks in her hair before she went on a long weekend at the beach so that she wouldn't get burned. This might hold some truth since no one has ever seen a natural redhead with a tan.
6. We use steam to remove the material from the backing when doing headliners. We were out of steam one day and sent him to the local hardware to pick us up 5gal. of steam. That was declined by the big boss as he was headed out the door to get it.
7. The color yellow will soon be outlawed as a color allowed for public use. The light spectrum that reflects off of yellow has been shown to do retina damage in the long term.
Tomorrow we will inform him of the newly mandated alphabet that goes into effect in 2016, which will include the greek symbol "omega"
I figured this bunch would have fun with this, feel free to add any ideas you may have, I am running out fast, my brain can't stay at this level for too many days.