[M.D. Holloway]

I remember when I was young, I had a great aunt who was in a home. My folks would visit her and sometimes bring us along. My great aunt wasn't a nice person when she was young and got meaner when we got older to the point of being down right disrespectful to anyone around but my parents still paid her visits. She may of cared or maybe she didn't. My folks would always say we are the only ones she has - no one else wants her. I remember one visit we were leaving and my Mom looked to me and said "no matter what, don't ever put me in a place like this." I promised her I wouldn't. Funny thing is, my great aunts place was actually very well respected and she received excellent care for over 15 years.

Flash forward 17 years ago when my Mom was showing signed early signs of dementia. My Dad took care of her until she got so bad he couldn't anymore. She was put into a very good home as well and he would visit her from 8:00Am till 9:00PM every day - he did this for almost 4 years with out ever not being there with her. She may have known who he was at first but in her last 2 years she had no idea. I remember the last time she seemed to have a sense of her surroundings. I visited her, held her hand while she was in her wheel chair. We went outside to the gardens and she looked over at me and said "you promised...you promised..." That was the last thing she said to me...

Ya, not feeling good about it but not that there was anything I could do...

My Dad referred to those places as 'The Dying Places" and repeated told me he would never want to be in those places. After my Mom died he would spend sometime going back and seeing some of the other people he met there. He didn't like it but he felt for them because no one ever visited with them. He referred to them as 'the forgotten'.

I guess I don't want my Dad to be a 'forgotten in a dying place..."