[Seahawk]

As always, some very good insight on this thread.

My father lives in a continuing care retirement community in California and loves it. He is 84 and told me many times he didn't want to be a burden to his children, especially living with them. Just not his thing.

Nor mine, frankly.

He is extremely active and, more than once, has told me over the phone when we chat, "got to go!"

He may be a bit of an outlier, but my wife's grandfather had a similar run. He moved from here to Florida, bought a house and planned to see his children a bunch. Never happened. He got so lonely, even with daily care givers, that he asked me to move him back to Maryland and into a local assisted care facility.

Which I did. He was 87 at this time.

We settled into a bit of a routine. It is probably important to mention I really loved Jack, named my son after him and enjoyed his wit, right up until the end.

My wife would handle the mid week visits, groceries and visits to whatever he needed. Since we had Au Pairs in those days, they would pinch hit with the kids.

On weekends, I'd drop a bottle of Ten High off on Saturday morning, yap a bit and then go.

I'd pick him up every Sunday afternoon and bring him home for dinner. After dinner he and I would go for a drive in the local area. What great stories he told. Jack was a bit of a rouge so there was color in all the back roads we travelled.

After about three months, Jack made friends, a lot of friends. He would ask if he could bring a buddy to dinner once in awhile. He even managed a late in life romance after he turned 90. She was his age, a former teacher and the bomb. She loved the Sunday drives.

I guess my point is that nursing homes vary. Jacks place was nothing special...assisted living since his income was modest. He really enjoyed being in the mix, not living day to day with a care giver in his own hootch. He had his own apartment, kitchen and access to an elder bus. Every time I showed up he was playing elderly grab ass with his buds.

It was clean, well managed and we showed up at least twice a week. That matters. Don't fear nursing homes, at least good ones that know you are interested in how things are going.

Good luck, Mike.