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20 years ago I became friends with an elderly woman - very frugal and independent - with distant relatives about 3000 miles away. Over time I found myself doing more and more for her because there just wasn't anyone else.
In 2006, when I couldn't reach her on the phone, I asked her neighbors to check in on her. They found her on the floor too confused to even push the lifeline button around her neck. She ended up in a nursing home for a limited amount of time with the intention of leaving before they started charging her.
Since she'd given me her Power of Attorney, I used that time to make her home safe and sanitary, and hired this wonderful young woman with elder care training to live with her, for room and board and a modest salary. I hired the neighbor to provide respite, and for everything else, I filled in the gaps.
From the beginning I involved Hospice. They are such a wonderful resource. They visited several times a week and were very pleased with the quality of her care.
Emeline died where she wanted to - in her home - in July of 2007, surrounded by Hospice, her beautiful young caregiver, her wonderful neighbors and me.
After she was gone, per her instructions, I divided her small estate between 20 charities and distant relatives of her choosing. An exhausting experience, but great peace of mind.
If you can find someone trustworthy with elder care experience....maybe I was just lucky....
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