Quote:
Originally Posted by MongooseGA
Long story short:
GF and I have been together for over 6 years. For the most part, a perfect relationship. We rarely argue, have never fought.
I am not interested in marriage, but I do want to be in a relationship with her. I do not want kids, she does.
She just sprung on me a discussion tonight that she doesn't know where we're headed in the future. Seems she's got her mind made up that the best option is to go our different ways for our individual happiness. Neither of us want to split, but our long term goals are very different.
I'm not comfortable giving a commitment on having children in the future at this point in my life. She doesn't want kids now, but does want to be working toward them.
Did any of you husbands and fathers NOT want to get married or have kids before you did? What were the circumstances and how has life been since?
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Break up with her now. You'll break her heart but it's the right thing to do.
For many women, the need to have children is visceral and critical. They cannot picture a life without being a mother. She loves you and she is clinging to the hope that you'll come around. In the meantime, you are robbing her of the the only commodities she cannot replace, time and fertility.
Would you give up your life's dream for her? You are passively allowing her dream to die. Slowly. Set her free. Let her find a man who wants to be a father. She deserves that.
Fertility peaks in your 20s. Most women hit their fertile peak between the ages of 23 and 31, though the rate at which women conceive begins to dip slightly in their late 20s. Around age 31, fertility starts to drop more quickly — by about 3 percent per year — until you hit 35 or so. From there, the decline accelerates. "The average 39-year-old woman has half the fertility she had at 31, and between 39 and 42, the chances of conceiving drop by half again.
I deal with your situation every single day in my professional life. If this woman feels the need to have children, get the hell out of her way. Now. She may reassure you that she can adjust to the idea of being childless but if that's not in her heart she will grow bitter and resentful. And you will be the man who selfishly robbed her of the opportunity to hold her own baby in her arms.