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I came across some old columns I wrote a long time ago. Here's part of one I thought would fit with the "tools" thread.
The other day I was visiting my neighbor James. I was out helping him work on his Farmall “Ol’ Smokey” and needed pliers, so I went into his shop to get them. When I walked in there, I couldn’t believe it. He had all his tools hung up on a board with a little sil¬houette of each wrench and hammer showing where it went! His shop looked like a Snap-On ad.
This was a different sight that I was used to seeing in Jame’s garage. I usually had to stand under a flickering neon bulb and dig through a pile junk to find anything that looked like a usable tool. The guy had turned over a new leaf—heck, a whole compost pile! The wrenches gleamed and the screw¬drivers were all lined up on the wall like nobody ever used them. I grabbed the pliers and went back out to the tractor, kind of disgusted, and I said, “James, it’s no wonder you have so much trouble keeping Ol’ Smokey run¬ning. How can you expect to get any fixin’ done if you spend all your shop time waxing your wrenches? And what’s with keeping them all in the shop up on that board, anyhow?”
Well, he mumbled something about being organized, saving time, efficiency, and some other nonsense that didn’t sound like the James I knew at all. He must have gotten ahold of a book. I cut him right off and I said, “James - you want efficiency, you gotta do what I do. Whenever you finish with a tool, just leave it right there where you used it, ‘cause that’s where the tractor broke down in the first place. I’m not saying it’s going to break down in that exact spot again, but it’s a darn sight more likely than it breaking down in the garage next to them nice shiny wrenches. When was the last time O1’ Smokey broke down in the garage anyhow?”
Now, I thought I had gone too far then, because Ol’ Smokey’s probably the only tractor I know of that’s capable of throwing a rod while sitting in the shop getting his battery charged.
James doesn’t seem to appreciate my laissez-faire attitude toward tool storage any more than my wife does. She doesn’t like to touch my used work clothes any more than she has to, so pocket-sized tools tend to get into the washing machine now and then. They make one heck of a racket. Sounds like the whole washer’s going to fly apart. Naturally, she’ll yell at me that the washing machine is about to fly apart and I have to get off the sofa and do something. Now this is where my true genius comes into play. I tell her she’s done an amazing job of diagnosing the problem and I’ll see if there’s any chance of saving it, but I’ll need a beer, ham sandwich, and about an hour of complete privacy so I can concentrate. About an hour later I come out of the laundry room well rested, with my lost pliers back in my pocket where they belong, and my wife thinking I’m a genius. The only problem I’ve run into is sometimes I get a crick in my neck from sleeping in front of the dryer.
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