[Bill Douglas]

Bob heard his mobile phone ring and saw he had a text message:..


Hi Bob

This is Alan next door.
I'm sorry buddy, but I have a confession to make to you. I've been riddled
with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the
courage to tell you to your face but I am at least now telling in text as I
can't live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.

The truth is, I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not
around. In fact, probably more than you, particularly in the mornings after
you've left for work.

I haven't been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse I know.
I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest
apologies. My wife has known for some time now and I've promised her that it
won't happen again.

Regards, Alan.


Bob, feeling anguished and betrayed, immediately went into his bedroom,
grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife twice in the head,
killing her instantly.
He returned to the lounge where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down
on the sofa.. He took out his phone to respond to the neighbour's text and
saw he had another message:-


Hi Bob,

This is Alan next door again.

Sorry about the slight typo on my last text, I expect you worked it out
anyway, but as I'm sure you noticed, my predictive text changed 'WiFi'
to 'Wife'.

Hope you saw the funny side of that.

Regards, Alan.