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I made the deal with my kids early in their teens....one car (a very modest one), one degree at the place of your choosing....we've discharged our obligation to you and spending the rest.
Just before they went off to school, we had a sit down and said that they would never again be permanent residents in this house. They could come back temporarily for summers whilst in university or for a few months after school while they found a job/place of their own.
Son stayed at our place 11 months (last 2 waiting for his condo to be turned over to him), daughter made it 6 months.
We also tell them that we are the lender of last resort, but we have harsh conditions if they get into financial trouble....namely we will take full control of their finances, cut up their credit cards and put them on allowances as they will by virtue of their needing us as lender of last resort shown that they are really children and need an adult to manage their money for them.
Neither kid has come close to needing it...son will pay off his mortgage in 7 years, daughter in about 9.
All this crap about kids living at home is just that...crap, usually because parents indulge narcissitic, entitled kids who never really grow up. I blame the parents....
Dennis
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