FWIW my Mom lives about 15 minutes away and instead of me running over to explain or try to resolve issues she has....or spending time on the phone doing the same, she uses a local computer tech guy who works out of his house and is both very knowledgeable and also very practical.
For her - it's like going to a doctor. All doctors are on pedestals because of their title....doctor. If she doesn't hear it come from a doctor (whether a PC or medical one) - it just doesn't carry the cred!
Works for me.
^^ BTW....truly hilarious, Scott!