[stomachmonkey]

Way back in the day my wife played violin.

Her grandfather gave her his violin to play.

Eventually my wife lost interest but she still had an attachment to the instrument since it was a gift from Grandpa Eddie.

While she was away at college her cousin, her fathers brothers son, started taking up violin.

My MIL, intending to be helpful, offered her SIL the use of the violin. When my wife came home and found out she was pissed and has been for the last 30 years.

SIL, my wife's Aunt is a bit of an odd duck and a notorious cheapskate.

She had the violin appraised and promptly stuck it in a closet and bought her son a new one to use.

We can only assume it had some monetary value or SIL/Aunt had a reason to expect it's value to increase. Personally I feel at that point she should have said something like "do you know the value of this violin? are you sure about this" but she said nothing and it is what it is.

MIL's original gesture was never intended to be a gift but a loan. Admittedly she was not clear about that and it was never cleared up. That was a mistake.

Knowing my MIL I suspect she simply wanted to keep the peace and not make waves and I can appreciate that.

Grandpa Eddies violin is currently sitting in the basement at the cousins collecting dust. He has not touched it in 20 years.

As some of you know my daughter plays violin in addition to several other instruments but violin is her passion. Last year her orchestra sent in an audition for a national competition and were invited to compete which by itself was a huge honor. They drove 10 hours overnight on a bus, got off, were handed a piece of music they'd never seen and walked away with 1st place. This year she is Concert Master, 1st chair in her orchestra. That's a huge deal.

My daughter has expressed an intention to pursue a degree in music. She's serious about it. It's her passion.

Her Orchestra teacher wants her to upgrade her violin.

We will be seeing the cousin in 2 days at my nephews Bar Mitzvah.

I want to call him and ask him to bring the violin with him.

It would be something special for my daughter to play her great grandfathers / mothers violin.

However I know if he mentions it to his mother there will be an an issue.

So my plan is to call him last minute and ask him to bring it.

Basically remind him of my daughters accomplishments so far, reinforce that this is a life goal for her and how much it would mean to her to have an instrument with family history to play.

To be clear this is not about whether or not the thing has value. For all we know it could play like utter **** or she may not be comfortable with the instrument.

Instruments are like clothes, sometimes they don't fit the wearer.

It's about the connection.

Thoughts?

Should I just drop it and preserve the peace or......