[patz]

Marine Corps Facts


•A Marine and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.
•Most Marines have a grizzly bear carpet in their room. The bear isn't dead; it's just afraid to move.
•The Marines have already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life.
•Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Marine Corps stories.
•A Marine can cut through a hot knife with butter.
•Death once had a near-Marine experience.
•The Marines are the reason why Waldo is hiding.
•A Marine can slam a revolving door.
•When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for US Marines.
•A Marine once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
•A Marine once got bit by a rattle snake... After three days of pain and agony... the rattle snake died.
•When a Marine does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
•When a Marine throws you into a bottomless pit, you hit the bottom.
•A Marine does not sleep. He waits.
•A Marine once made a Happy Meal cry.
•You never slap a Marine.
•A Marine called 911 to order Chinese food and got it...
•Guns are warned not to play with the Marines.
•A Marine can give aspirin a headache.


Couuld also double as Chuck Norris jokes.