[gacook]

Some of the other threads on gift giving made me decide to post about this here, for your input.

I'm divorced and remarried. I have 3 kids with my ex, and "inherited" 2 kids with my new wife (we've been married 4 years now...I won't go into why my wife feels "unwelcomed" by my parents--specifically mom). Every year, my parents send a check to each of the kids for Christmas, and for their birthdays. We're not talking big money, but it's still generous of them to do so (between all my brothers/sisters, my parents have 20+ grandkids).

So, here's the problem: They send MY kids $25, and they send my step-kids (who I view as my kids) $20. This aggravates the hell out of me because it's readily apparent that they're basically viewing my step kids as "lesser" to them (and really, it's my mom who sends the checks), and that's the kicker--she's my step-mom. She raised me since I was 3; we have a very blended family (she has 5 kids from 2 different marriages, my dad has 3 kids from 2 different marriages, and together, the 2 of them didn't have any kids). We were alwalys taught that we were a family--I called her "mom," her kids called my dad "dad," and we were taught that the "step" part was just BS--we were brothers and sisters. And that's why it bugs me so much that she now treats MY step-kids in a lesser manner.

What I'm torn about is whether or not to address it with her. As I said, I think it's generous of them to give any of the kids anything (and I've told them many times I don't need them to), but it's also quite rude (in my opinion) to give the kids different amounts. If it was a physical gift, like a toy or something, I wouldn't care if the valuation varied amongst the kids, but when it's a monetary gift, the difference is quite glaring.

What I've been thinking is that I'll call her and let her know that if she can't send all the kids the same amount, please don't bother sending any of them anything.

Thoughts?