[Porsche-O-Phile]

IMHO staying together just for the kids is pretty dumb. All he's doing is setting himself up to be a statistic once the kids are on their own. There are a lot of people (I'd welcome some stats here but they're oddly hard to come by for court related matters) who get into their 50s or even early 60s and end up in divorce proceedings once they find themselves an "empty nester", living with someone they don't particularly like anymore and with whom they have little in common.

IMHO it's better to rip the band-aid off now rather than wait. If he's in his 40s he still has time to build a new life with someone who might appreciate him, emerge with some hope of still being able to retire, etc. The folks that go through it in their 50s and 60s seem to fare far worse since they're usually in their "prime earning" years (read: "get screwed far worse by the courts") and they're often too old to seriously start thinking about dating, cultivating a new relationship, etc. A lot of folks (especially men) end up unable to ever retire once they get hit with the inevitable onerous lifetime alimony payments and can't leave their job to do anything else they might otherwise want to or have planned on doing (for the same reason, plus it's nearly impossible to get hired in your 50s / 60s now anyway because companies are concerned about potential healthcare costs and the high salary expectations of experienced / seasoned older workers). They become de facto slaves. I'm willing to bet the suicide rate is pretty high for those who find themselves in this situation too (hopeless situation, nothing to really work for in a meaningful way after a lifetime of experience building, etc.). I believe this was discussed during debates in FL lately where the legislature recently passed legislation to end lifetime alimony, a measure later vetoed...

Divorce utterly and completely sucks and as a male your friend is GOING to get screwed, but if he waits it'll likely only be worse. If he can end things amicably with his spouse that would be the best option (he can offer her he freedom she wants without a fight if the terms are reasonable and mutually developed rather than imposed by a male-hating "judicial" system).

I feel for the guy. What a crappy situation. I'm truly sorry for him and I hope he finds his way out of it with minimal damage to his relationship with his kids and his financial future. If I were him I'd seriously consider a "mid life crisis" that results in him working a job earning less than she does (call it "following your heart" or "pursuing your lifelong dream" or whatever - just make sure he ends up making less money and thereby paints a smaller bullseye on his back or better still, lands him in a situation where she's at risk of paying HIM - easier to negotiate from a position of strength...)

Marriage sucks mostly because the divorce laws make it suck. Hopefully he won't make that mistake again!