Quote:
Originally Posted by Apollo
My Dad has caved. At 78 and not loaded, he is going to stump up 12K. Hung up on mother who said to me "We are doing this for our own reasons" I said "What reasons? we know them all and its a disaster. Good luck getting the 12K back" Mum:" Your just flying blind-you don't know everything"
" What don't I know? I know enough" -click
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Apollo
Just spoke to Dad-tried to get him to change his mind. He said " I will not let my daughter be thrown
out on the street"
What to do?......
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You have just given us the whole story^^
This is not a business issue--that is just a symptom. This is the result of a long-time family dynamic that has produced an irresponsible adult-child and which continues to enable such behavior. You parents, for whatever reason, never allowed your sister to accept failure or responsibility for her mistakes. I would venture to guess that any difficulties in her life, while growing up, were always "somebody else's" fault and that claim was perpetrated and supported by your parents.
You will have no influence in this and, in fact, may be the one alienated from the family if you persist in your rational and correct thinking. It is a lost cause. Your parents created the situation and continue to feed it. They will not change, they will only suffer and, possibly, lament, "Why Us?" They need therapy as does your sister, but it will not likely happen. It will do them no good for you to say, "I told you so," though it may make you feel better. This is their problem (parents and sister) and you are powerless to intervene. She will always need help. They will always bail her out. You can continue to express your views, if asked, but you should avoid any actions that continue the enabling relationship.
It's your father's money and his decision. You give your point of view and rationale behind it. In the end, rationality and objectivity were rejected for blind, emotional, and destructive psychological reasons. This will cause you more pain than your parents because you see what this parasitic relationship really is, and it's your family. This is a situation of their creation and, just like an addict, they cannot get help until they recognize they need it. They have not reached that point yet, and they may never.
It seems like every family has a member like your sister, created by similar parenting practices. My sister is the same. My wife's sister is the same. The parents, in each case, failed to raise a child into an adult, always provided an excuse, never made the child accept full responsibility or consequence for their actions, and continue to enable the now "adult" who is, and always will be, a "victim." It is a sad situation, but you are not alone.