[Z-man]

Hated my high school years -- until a couple things happened AFTER high school.

I went to a predominantly Dutch private high school. I was an outcast, bullied, and basically told by all my peers that I am a loser. I would tense up my stomach as I walked the halls because I knew someone could and would punch my stomach at any given time. Girlfriend? No way. Not a chance - I was looked down upon, even though I wasn't fat, ugly -- I just didn't fit in with the 'in' crowd.

So the message thay all told me was that I was a loser, and would not accomplish much of anything. Pretty hurtful thing to hear as a teenager. Funny thing is that the only major difference I had in high school vs. my peers was that I was Hungarian, and not a blond-haired, blue-eyed Dutchman. So I did my best to ignore them, and started to build up part of my personality that questioned the norm. I started to dress differently (Capezio shoes and skinny ties - hey, it was the 80's), listen to different music (U2 instead of Van Halen), think outside the box. Over time, this ideal became a bigger part of my personality.

Fast forward to after high school and these defining moments happened:

1. In my freshmen year in college, I continued to 'dare to be different' and instead of being mocked, folks were cool with it. It wasn't a big deal for them: folks embraced my uniqueness. There were folks from so many different backgrounds and cultures that being different was the norm!

2. One of the kids from high school went to the same college as I, and sure enough, he started with the punching me in the stomach - so one day I stopped him and asked him why he is still doing that. His response, "'Cause you never punch back." Next time he punched me, I punched him back, and that was the last time he punched me. Lesson learned. (but 4 years too late).

3. At my 10 year (?) class reunion, I gained the least weight, lost the least amount of hair, and had the prettiest wife. These aren't the best measures to determine if one is a loser or not, but it was an observation that stuck with me...

4. At my 15 year class reunion, I actually had a couple of the 'in crowd' folks apologize to me for being so mean to me in high school. Stuff like "We really abused you and did some bad things to you..." That's a long time to hold onto that guilt... By then, I had an established IT career, and was working for one of the most recognizable brands in the world, Mercedes-Benz. I was also heavily involved in the Porsche club, so while the folks were talking about how to get their soccer team to fit into their Dodge Caravan, I was talking about SL's, 944 track suspensions, and taking the downhill at Lime Rock with just brushing the brakes...

5. At the same 15 year reunion, I found out that Scott, one o the leaders of the 'in crowd' and valedictorian in high school, finished college, and since then, couldn't land a job because he was still searching for his meaning in life.

Would I go back to high school? No thanks. I learned a lot, and have applied a lot to my life, and took that very negative experience and turned it extremely positive things in my life. And while I don't wish ill upon anyone, it is very satisfying to know that those that made me out to be a loser did not predict my life's outcome. More importantly, I refused to accept their judgment. Rather - I became what I consider to be a successful, accomplished, and recognized person. And while I never measured myself against them, in the end, there were many who called me a loser whose lives didn't turn out as they desired...

Whoa - that's a lot -- sorry to get all heavy on you folks...
-Z-man.