Sorry to hear about your troubles.
After many long years of similar stories, I recently had to diagnose a family member with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I had no idea such a thing existed, but once I discovered it and started researching, it was like I had solved a massive crime novel. All the pieces fell right into place. Her symptoms sound very similar to the ones my family were experiencing, so chances are you might have an NPD sufferer on your hands.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Good luck man, it ain't easy.....