[wdfifteen]

We are all victims of the cracker cartel. They are bent on monopolizing the cracker market and forcing us all to buy round saltines - an obvious oxymoron, as everyone knows saltines are square. It all started when they began weaning us onto those 1x2 squares. This took place when I was but a child, in the 1950s or '60s. It took decades, but eventually we bought 1x2s and the original 2x2s indiscriminately, unaware of the next step in their evil plan. After a few decades, maybe less, of round saltines we will someday go to the grocery store to find the only crackers on the shelf are elitist and exorbitantly expensive Ritz crackers. Saltines will be no more, and it will be too late.