Quote:
Originally Posted by tabs
The questions were about how much clarity and definition you have about your self and your family. How and why did they get this way? It is about self examination. I want to hear the dynamic, the nutz and bolts and how they fit together. No insults here.
You did say the magic words, "I LOVE HER" and it must cause a lot of pain to have someone you love as deeply (as you would your Mom) and have her treat you so badly.
Your Dad has enabled her, by tolerating the BS. That sets a bad example for children to exemplify. Children think "If Dad does it that way, well thats the way it's done."
So what is the pain your Mom is running from? What was your Grand Ma Like? Was she religiously devout? The word that comes to mind is severe
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Roger that.
The cause of what was once anger, then confusion, now disgust...as I learn more about what she seems to have, possibly NPD, it will likely use my knowledge to skillfully interact with her and minimize issues.
He has completely. Funny thing is I've always watched their interactions and became increasingly suspicious as to why he would let my mom treat him that way, or anyone for that matter.
Hit the nail on the head with this one, she's is still running from loosing her dad at a reasonably young age (21) but now the volume has been cranked as my grandmother, 98, was recently admitted to hospice. My Grandmother was stereotype guilt laden Catholic Italian...but not like this. She cherished family, friends and relationships where my mother is a wrecking ball in her personal and professional life. When you point out what she's doing to others she'll tell you the other individual, organization etc is stupid, but in a much more colorful manner.
Another very interesting thing is that her focus on religion has dramatically intensified. I wanted to climb up a wall when she told me God was making her say what she was saying Saturday at my house...I actually felt ill.