[Porsche-O-Phile]

See above. if we as a society continue to talk the talk ("fathers matter") but not walk the walk (i.e. continue to send the message that men are only good so long as the checks keep coming) men are going to say "what the hell is the point?" Despite what you might think, men aren't stupid. If there's no benefit to hanging around and they're going to be penalized either way, why not choose the path that gives them some tiny bit of freedom and enjoyment in life? Also, if men are expected to pay for the overshelming majority of so-called "child care expenses" (as defined by the mothers and subject to no audit or scrutiny - can include nail salon visits, Cadillac Escalades and junkets to Maui with new boyfriends and the kids left at home - all examples I've seen personally) why should they burden themselves more? I'm not saying I necessarily agree with it but I think a lot of it comes down to an attitude of "if she's going to take my money then she can change all the diapers and deal with all the nonsense - screw this". I can sort of see where they're coming from.

Of course most of it is the result of exactly what I said above - "living down to expectations". We have a mysandric "just-us" system that panders to women as the perpetual victims and gleefully destroys mens' lives in the hope that it will "send a message". Well if the message is resentment and a decreased identification as a "father figure" after being fleeced and kicked to the curb, told in not so many words that his opinions and positions regarding child-rearing are inferior to womens' and given a fraction of time with kids as the mothers simply because he's got a penis, then job well done.

A "shared custody" / 50-50 situation is the best and most fair (that goes for money too, which will never happen since no politician wants to alienate the "female vote" by pushing for change to child support or alimony laws) but in practice it never happens. I've seen people (all good parents) pay little or tons in court and the outcome is a rubber stamp all the time: kids, house and money go to mom, the bill goes to dad. Oh and you can see the kids four days a month. What a deal! Can you at all see why a lot of guys get disgusted and say "eff this"?

To get guys to identify with their roles as "fathers" we need to start showing that we value them as such - and they're not just considered conduits for money to be channeled to the women who obviously know what's best for the kids (har-har). If it happens in my lifetime I'll be surprised. Of course the very best situation is for women to include the fathers, want to have them around, show they're valued and actually include them. But that runs against the notion of strong "liberated women" and feminist principles right? If women treat a guy like a father he'll tend to act like one. If you punt him once the kids are born and go after just his money and house d'ya think he's really going to? Try "standing by your man" and valuing him, then maybe more men will do what they're meant to - be good fathers to their kids.