[Rot 911]

Dennis, you've been given lots of good advice. Give it some serious thought. I know how you feel as I have been there (and was going to post about my next hurdle, but instead am posting here). I just turned 60 in June. When I was 55 I was in a situation similar to yours, except I have Crohns disease and it was my intestines, not my lung. I was facing surgery and eventually had 18 inches of my small bowel removed. Prior to surgery I was thinking the same as you, didn't want to go in a hospital, fear I might not come out and the only reason I didn't blow my brains out is because I thought I might screw it up and end up a vegetable. But I had the surgery. It sucked and many a night I laid in that hospital room wishing I would just die. A few times I gave thought to busting open the morphine machine and giving that plunger one final push. But I didn't and eventually got out and back on my feet. 5 years later I'm in better health than I have been in the last 10 years. I run most mornings and have started motorcycle track days!

Become educated about what is going on with your body. That way you can discuss your issues with your doctor in a knowledgeable manner. Find a hobby that gives you pleasure when nothing else does. I started track days back in March and the thing I like most about it is when you are on the track you have to focus your attention 100%. It is the only place where stray thoughts can't come wandering in.