[McLovin]

Hi Dennis,

It pains me to read your post, because I've been through some of the things you're going through. I know some of the pain and difficulty you're feeling.

You've received a lot of suggestions, medication for the effects of menopause, getting a dog, etc.

All of which is fine.

Tab's quote below resonated with you.

Ahhh so you see sloth everywhere, want to jump in to fix it, perhaps on a case by case basis, but you are trying to fix something that is ultimately beyond your control. The tide, the current is driving the situation to evermore sloth. Your jousting with windmills.

I'm going to suggest something, I know it won't be popular here, and I know your first reaction will be to resist, which is fine. It's only a suggestion, from someone who has been where you are and who is (almost) as old, and as stubborn, as you (I think we have some of the same ethnic background, known for stubborness!)

Based on your posts about your feelings, your relationship with your wife, and her view and treatment of you, I'm pretty confident in guessing you, your wife and your marriage are without God in them.

Again, I hate even mentioning this, it's not really my style.

But I'd try opening my heart to God. You have nothing to lose. And potentially a lot to gain.

As humans, we want to think we know everything (about ourselves, the universe, the purpose of life, etc.).

And that we have everything under control, by ourselves.

That's a tall order, and most end up finding out that it's not true.

There's much we don't understand, and even more we can't control. Esp. in things like marriage and relationships. IMO, a marriage that invites God, and leans on God and his teachings, has a 100x more chance of being successful. I've seen it over and over. Without God, I agree with people like P-o-P's cynical view on marriage. But with God, it is very very different.

You (and your wife) do not need to go this alone.

I'd hope that you can open your hearts to God. Give him a chance to make a difference for you. It doesn't cost anything, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and you have nothing to lose.

It's an individual choice you make in your heart. I believe if you can open and soften your heart to God, he will speak to you in ways that will resonate with you, personally. Again, I've seen it over and over, and it happened to me after decades of strong non-belief. The objective truth of the matter is that it has happened for millions and millions of people.

I'd recommend to find a good, Bible based non-denominational church in your area and just go for a month or two. Go with an open heart and open mind, and listen to the message each week. See what happens. I strongly believe that if both you and your wife agreed to do that, and gave it an open minded and open hearted chance, you will be amazed at what will happen. But you'll never know if you don't try.

Again, I know the above will not be popular here. And I'm not really comfortable saying it, that's not really my thing. I just feel I need to, as a friend.

Good luck with whatever path you choose. Take care of yourself.