[NY65912]

Not dead but I did have the fading away feeling, the dying feeling. The day after my spinal surgery in '94 the nurse got me to sit up. I threw 5 blood clots to my lungs. I turned blue/gray, terrific chest pain and a feeling of leaving life. Tunnel vision, cold, clammy, overwhelming sick feeling, etc. Then the feeling of shutting off came over me, an uncontrolable slipping away feeling, know I was dying. Then the crash team came in and shot me full of Heparin and Ativan and things got better, the "shock" went away. Getting O2 sure beats not getting O2 into your body. I believe that when the end comes, it comes. Not a damn thing you can do. Part of me thinks that you shut off, like when you are under anesthesia, nothing, really nothing. But we will never know until we get to that place. Maybe we regenerate and regain awareness in another form, or maybe not, we just seize to exist, we are erased from the universe.