I posted this in another thread a bit ago:
Quote:
I have been having a bit of an internal struggle on whether or not to share my thoughts on this. I greatly admire your perspective and viewpoints and I would hate to come off as an oaf.
Perspective is, however, a critical component in dealing with adversity, perhaps second only to examples of virtuous and exemplary behaviors in the face of trouble and pain. So:
My son lost all sight in his left eye late this summer. He had an accident on the farm, the details of which are not important. It was an accident, a million to one occurrence. No one is to blame. He received the best care possible at Johns Hopkins but saving the eye was not possible.
Jack was to be a senior at the Virginia Military Institute. His hope and dreams were centered on commissioning this coming Spring as an Army 2LT and pursing the very difficult goal of Special Ops. He was on an Army ROTC Scholarship.
He is universally liked and admired, a very special young man with a great sense of humor and ethic. His senior enlisted advisers at VMI are among his biggest fans.
Everyone was devastated by the news because they knew Jack lost more than an eye, he lost the opportunity to pursue his life-long dream. He is 20 years old.
My wife and I immediately began to put plans in place to ensure not only his physical well-being, but to also attend to the inevitable mental stress Jack might suffer.
In the quiet funny ones, however, there is great strength. His Doctors pulled me aside two days after the accident and told me they have never had the occasion to deal with a better young man: "His attitude is incredible, he faces every surgery with grace and humor."
As the next few weeks went by my wife and I alternated days at home. Jack had to stay quiet and relax without any physical stress. While there was no hope of restoring his eye-sight in his left eye, they wanted to save the "globe". He was in a good deal of pain but managing.
On my second shift home, Jack came into my home office and asked me what I was doing, why I was home. I have always been honest with Jack so I told him: Just being here for you, must be tough on you and we want to make sure you get the support you need...words to that affect.
It got very humbling from here on out. He told me then that he knows he lost a great opportunity, but that there will be others, that is goal now is to rejoin his Brother Rats at VMI and graduate with his class.
"I lost a spare", he told me, "but I have a big life ahead of me. Just a different one than before." Those words exactly.
My wife and I both went back to work.
After his last surgery he was cleared for physical activity and I got him back up to speed driving (legal in all 50 States). Another very important goal for him was that he drive himself back to school. We got him all the right gear and helped him prepare.
There have been minor dips but he is back at VMI in a leadership role his senior year and will graduate on time. He drove himself. His room mates kid him incessantly and he often wears an eye patch to scare the Rats (freshmen) As a senior he gets his own Rat, which his roommates have dubbed the "Seeing Eye Rat", complete with a leash.
So there it is. Take for the above what you will. You have a big life ahead of you, just different than before. Ask Jack, he'll tell you.
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As you can imagine, we've wondered and worried in the face of his strength, not knowing the how he does it but confident in who he is. My son has a bit of a stubborn streak so we've got that going for us
He was home last weekend for eye checks at Hopkins and a family touch and go. All is blessedly well. His life at VMI is as raucous and fun and full of grab azz as before. He is just Jack.
We went for a drive before he left and he spills the beans: Chicks dig the eye patch. He is a good looking young man, fit as a tuning fork and funny; but evidently, an eye patch will find you new purchase.
Just wanted to share. Life is hard, it doesn't have to be miserable. Attitude is an elixir.