I have been married long enough, am old enough, where I am a bit like fax machine repair man when it comes to relationship advice: I know how to fix things but my skills are a bit dated and not of much value
I really like your posts in this thread, NC, they reflect an amount of self awareness and maturity that will serve you well. The depth of your friendship with the young woman is a compliment to the both of you.
Take care of yourself and best.