[Racerbvd]

Sorry for your Loss, don't beat yourself up, "Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda" is not the way Bear would want you to be thinking right now (my old girlfriend calls me Bear too).
Sadly, I have been there (recently) and there is nothing we can do about it and he may not have wanted you to see him in ill health. As others have said, remember the good times..