[911SauCy]

Gentlemen, I'm at the beinning of my descending journey with my mother.

The long thread about the "lunatic mother" was helpful in my self actualization of removing her iron fist of control from my life.

Here, about a year into it, I am coming to the realizations that my intuition over the last few years of her displaying "early on-set" is a reality. The plauging issue divinding my family is that my father is refusing to face this issue and help her. She has always been his voice, controlling his every move, and so he is not comfortable being the aggressor in the relationship. (The man needs to step up for the person he loves. I've said that directly to him but his inaction makes me wonder how much love is left, if any?)

My mother's situation has rendered her unemployable, her friends (alongside family members) have tried to help her help herself (they no longer speak), and for the family members that have not been insulted and written her off, they're also trying to help her and mostly push my dad.

Tying back to the OP: My mother has been going through this for the last decade with my grandmother, she'll be 99 next week, and thinks that because she's visiting her mother regularly and "helping" (usually making inappropriate comments/demands to caretakers) that there is nothing wrong with her.

She deflects her reality with the mirror of my grandmother's demise. We can see she is reaching a boiling point as my grandmother further degrades and is no longer able to redirect her focus away from self.